Essentials: What I Noticed While sick

Last week sucked.

I woke up at 2:00 am Tuesday morning with a severe pain in my stomach. Then it got worse. Then I went to the bathroom a couple of times. Then I vomited a few times. Then I went to urgent care around 5:30 pm. The nurse missed my IV line in my arm because I was dehydrated and she couldn't find it, so she had to jab me again in the hand. They sent me home a few hours later with anti-nausea pills. The problem with swallowing pills when you have nausea is that they come back up just as fast.

I tried to go to sleep Tuesday night, but my stomach pain hadn't gotten any better and they never did give me anything for the pain. Urgent care wouldn't open again until 8:00 am Wednesday morning, so when my family went to sleep Tuesday night, I just stayed up and rocked back and forth next to the toilet for seven hours until at 3:00 am I realized there was not a chance of me continuing to do that for five more hours.

I woke up my mom and then my wife, who drove me thirty minutes to a further urgent care that was open 24/7. This was when I started to cry because I was so tired. I hadn't eaten or slept since Monday. The nurse only had to stick me once, but he made it count by missing and simply routing around in my arm until he found the vein. They give me more IV fluids and this time they finally gave me pain killers and some x-rays. They sent me home six hours later with some pain pills and suppositories for the anti-nausea. 

Thursday was mostly me sticking suppositories up myself and trying to not vomit. It didn't work and I went back to urgent care. They gave me an ultrasound, CT scan, and dilaudid. Dilaudid is the most magical drug on earth when you're in pain. It makes everything stop hurting almost instantly. It also made my head feel like there was a magnet sucking it back down onto the table. It became really heavy. They gave me two more prescriptions for pain and anti-nausea and sent me home.

I didn't sleep Thursday night. I vomited again a couple of times before 6:00 am on Friday morning. The pain started getting worse again. Urgent care told me to go to the emergency room and be admitted instead. More IV's and more dilaudid. I stayed in the hospital from about 9:00 am Friday morning until about 1:00 pm Sunday afternoon. I finally ate again Sunday and got off pain killers and anti-nausea.

That week sucked.

What I Noticed

Even though I was in a great deal of pain throughout the week, the pain never bothered me the most. What I missed were a few things that I now realize to be essential for my own happiness and contentment. I feel like if I could have been in pain and still had these essentials, I wouldn't have experienced the same deep feeling of distress that I did.

These essentials were:

1. Sleep - The number one thing I missed all week was sleep. The frustration at being absolutely exhausted and not being able to sleep is what literally drove me to tears a few different occasions. By 48 hours without sleep and lots of pain, I was sobbing. I also missed my bed and being able to simply spread out horizontally with my legs extended without pain. Being able to stretch out is wonderful and being forced into the fetal position for a week is awful.
2. Water - I really missed drinking water even though I was thirsty. My tongue was white, swollen, and by the end started to get sores on the side. It still is a bit swollen. Having a dry mouth and throat when you're so used to being able to fix it with some water from the kitchen sink is frustrating.
3. Whole Food - I was never super hungry. I imagine my body was suppressing the hunger because of the pain and nausea. However, I still constantly wanted food. I thought about double doubles from In-n-out all week and how delicious they would be. I really believe eating good, whole food is mostly related to the next point.
4. A Sense of Strength - This was probably the most frustrating aspect next to sleep. I felt like I was getting weaker the entire week this sickness lasted. I felt too weak to walk, run, jump, stand up straight, or even stretch out in my own bed. For those of you that know me, I enjoy lifting weights tremendously and have been working with an online coach for the last 28 weeks to meet some fairly lofty goals I have. This month would have seen me meeting several of those goals. Now, I am probably starting back close to week 1, but we will see later this week where I am at. This sense of losing so much progress was terrible.
5. Outdoors - I was discharged in the afternoon and it was a beautiful day. It was sunny with blue skies and warm weather. I'm from San Diego and the first days of spring when the weather is like that makes everyone feel like it is actually summer. Especially when the temperature is up in the eighties. I felt like I had been living in the night time or rooms without windows for a week. The outdoors are extremely beautiful when you haven't seen them in a while.

Conclusion

So there is my recap of the last week. I missed a lot of work and a lot of other good things. I'm really happy there aren't any more needles or drugs in me. In a weird way, I feel like I have a lot of energy. Not really physical energy. I am still really fatigued and not quite feeling sharp at all. Nevertheless, I do feel like I have a different sort of energy that is just bubbling out. I know the things I want to get done and the things that mean the most to me at this time. From here, I will just continue to regain my strength and direct my renewed energy at those things that are most important. The things I find essential to being content.